My Week in Review

I've had a crazy, full-of-misadventures week at School.

If you don't know, I teach math. It's technically algebra, but my kids generally test at or below the 5th grade level. Not the brightest bulbs on the collective chandelier, but many of them are quite nice. Some of them, however, are chronic bad decision makers, have some "issues" etc.

So, highlights from my week:

• Two kids who cut my class by walking out of the building after 2nd period were shocked they got caught. They figured it would be untraceable, because no one was looking at the cameras right then.
• Two girls got suspended (during FIRST PERIOD) because one of them brought tequila to school in a water bottle and they got trashed in the bathroom. My co-teacher says, "I thought it was vodka?" and the assistant principal replies, "We're Mexican. We don't drink vodka."
• When I said I couldn't go to the basketball game because I was going to visit a friend who recently had a baby, a student suggested I "get pregnant so you can tell us how it feels." (When I told my friend, she said, "Bad. Tell her it feels bad. And uncomfortable." Pretty sure its the kind of thing you do for the baby, not to see how it feels.
• Our resident drug dealer (who impressively managed to get expelled from two other schools by November of his freshman year) carved his tag into a desk. He got arrested and 10 days suspension. Possibly this will convince his mom that the problem is not everyone else. But unlikely.
• The vending machine guys were here filling up the machine in the teachers lounge when I went to make copies. I asked if they had purple skittles (my favorite) but they didn't. He asked me if there was anything else I wanted, and I was like, "Oh, no, that's ok" and started to leave. But they called me back over and said, "No, here, take something. How about this? The new caramel Milky Way? Have you tried it?" and handed it to me. And then they said "Take another one. What else do you like? A Snickers? Reeses?" And as I'm looking at their bin, still a little confused, they found Starburst. "It's like Skittles! You like those?" So they gave me three. And a bag of chips. 9 (I think) snacks later, I walked out. I think they think I'm cute.

Kids. What's the funniest thing that happened in your week?